Oh I sure do miss you Matt
Likewise! Which reminds me, Heather said that you were talking to her about visiting?
Then I hate to be the one to tell you this but Heather is a filthy liar
Haha!
OR I have forgotten something I said. But that seems terribly unlikely, right?
OH WAIT
Yeah, she said something about how you mentioned hearing that our roommate moved out and that you planned on taking over his old room for a while
Yeah I was actually kidding with that because I really don't know when I'll have the money to visit again but it's not a bad idea
Hehe. Fair enough
I will pay no room and board and will not work. I hope these terms sound fair
That's fine. After all, that's what I do!
Also I shall require nightly bedtime stories and everyone has to say "HI SCOTT" whenever I enter a room so that I can feel like I'm on the set of Cheers. AND I want an egg with a drawing of a different deceased comedian on my nightstand every morning that I will not eat because I don't like eggs
Now that's going too far! Drawing deceased politicians on unused food is one thing, but I have to put my foot down at drawing comedians!
Matt why do you insist on creating this social friction? I thought you were a bigger man than this!
I'm sorry, Scott, but there are some things that a man just has to remain unwavering on
Well I admire your steadfastness, though I cannot say I condone it
That means a lot to me. Now piss off